You know you’re in Africa when…..

You know you’re in Africa when…..

(from a worker who attended orientation in Zambia)

  1. -You eat with your right hand….. and wipe with your left hand ūüėČ
  2. -You get pee’d on by a baby…. no diapers in Africa? When the baby makes a face you pass the baby on…
  3. -You can go #1 & #2 in a hole in the ground about the size of a 5X7 picture frame… and not miss
  4. -You get called Mzungu (aka white person) everywhere you go
  5. -Everywhere you go you get purposed to…. excuse me… “claimed” by the African man. Ex: Man: points a finger in my face and says “you are my wife.” I reply: “No I am not!” OR Man: “this chair is for my wife” Me: “I’m not sitting there!” Or my all time favorite: Man: “How much for your hand in marriage?” Me: “10,000 cows” Man: Speechless….. ūüôā
  6. -You have a toad, spider, or take your pick of animals “greet you” while you are going to the bathroom
  7. -You wash your dishes, clothes, and anything else you can think of by hand
  8. -You negotiate everything… and then after you negotiate they say no we agreed on this… typically a higher price…
  9. -While in the “squatty potty” aka outdoor bathroom…. you “get” to fight off the bees during the day and be surprised by the bats at night…. you laugh b/c you think I’m joking… I laugh b/c I am not…. I still have nightmares about the bats…. ūüėČ
  10. -During church, soccer game, a deep conversation, pretty much any time and any where, it is not uncommon for a mom to openly breastfeed her baby….
  11. -Being without technology is one of the most peaceful things ever….
  12. -It takes 52-72 pumps of water to fill up your kettle and bucket (which is easily carried on your head) It takes about 10 minutes to warm the kettle, but all that work pays off when you get to take a shower under the stars… but watch out for the scorpions, spiders and snakes ūüėČ
  13. -You put a clothes line in your tent b/c if a putsie fly lands on it and lays eggs and you wear them, the¬†larvae goes into your skin and you get to put vaseline on the little worm for 3 days to sufficate it until you are able to pop it out of your skin…
  14. -You see that African kids are so creative: They can make any toy imaginable,¬†kites out of sticks and a plastic sack, soccer ball out of plastic sacks, toy cars out of wire, etc…
  15. -The locals cram a crazy amount of people into their van or truck
  16. -You get sick with giardia and have to take de-worming medicine…
  17. -If you hear something at night, don’t worry it is just the rats (the size of cats) trying to get in….¬†But it’s nice to have 2 of¬†your friends frozen in the¬†mats next to you knowing that the mosquito net will not keep the rats out, and praying for day light.. Ignorance is bliss… we didn’t get either.. ūüėČ
  18. With everything we (all 62 of us from age -1 to 70+) went through, we all are family, we took care of each other when one was sick, we cried with each other when we missed our family half a world away, we took family pictures of each other so that our families back home could see how much we have grown, we celebrate birthdays, we pray for each other, sing silly songs, help each other out and we praise our Father in Heaven for bringing us together to teach us and to strengthen us before He sent us all out among the Nations.

That was my time at  training in Zambia. Continue to lift me and others up as we serve our Father in Africa.

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